American Welcome Mat Out?

Well, our neighbors (notice the spelling in their honour) to the South must be adding a few expletive deletives before 'Canadian' these days....and it has nothing to do with the fact that their 30-year shopping spree has ended! Nope--it's more likely directly related to the Canuck Poop Machines (CPMs) that have started heading in their direction!

The past week must be really close to the prime migration period because the CPMs have been flying by, at all hours, honking their little hearts out. I'm not a particularly light sleeper but I've been woken out of a sound sleep at 2 a.m. to the sound of a flock of CPMs heading over my house on their way to Virginia Beach or Miami....and being really excited about the trip. I mean, the only thing they make more of than poop is noise.

The Americans aren't as gooshie as we are about these birds, and in fact are just plain fed up with them. I mean, who but we Canadians could revere an animal that craps 2 lbs of green stuff a day! What nobody has told us is that the CPMs have come back from the brink of extinction (?), are now a full-blown nuisance, and taste good.

Yes, they are cute. They even border on beautiful but enough is enough! Now that I'm retired, it's my turn to sit on some of those warm southern beaches in January and February and I don't want to have to bring a CPM scooper to make room for my blanket. Wait a minute....has anyone invented one of those yet?

My new bumper sticker reads..."Save a Mallard--Shoot a Canada Goose".